9. Graduation from Middle School
As the year progressed, with spring, summer, and autumn passing by, I found myself approaching the end of my middle school journey. My sister, meanwhile, embarked on her middle school adventure as I entered fifth grade. On April 15th, I participated in my final game as a player representing our school.
Following that event, the music teacher relentlessly pursued me, urging me to excel in the upcoming consolation performance scheduled for April 25th, coinciding with a military holiday. Although my academic performance always ranked at the bottom, it was gratifying to be recognized school-wide as both an athlete and a talented dancer.
During rehearsals at the music department auditorium, Sunsuk and I practiced diligently alongside other students. My younger sister, now a first-year middle school student, peeking inside from the auditorium entrance door with her friends, proudly pointed me out, declaring, “She’s my sister.”
At home, my parents increasingly bombarded me with questions like, “Which college will you attend after graduation?” insisting that I focus on my studies. Despite feeling overwhelmed and foolish, I found solace in reminding myself that I was bringing honor to our school.
On April 25th, our school’s art propaganda team put on a consolation performance at a hall in the city’s People’s Army, entertaining soldiers touring Mt. Baekdu. Due to my involvement in various physical and musical activities, I often found myself absent from classes.
Back home, whenever my parents scolded me for neglecting my studies, I would feign studying by opening my books. My father disapproved of my involvement in the sports department, but my mother understood and supported my training.
Despite my father’s objections and his belief that sports were too “boyish” for me, I kept attending the sports team because I loved running. Although I enjoyed exercising and competing, I had no interest in dancing. Yet, I found myself swayed by the envy of my peers so kept showing up in the music department.
My frequent absences from class and involvement in extracurricular activities took a toll on my academic progress. Since the consolation performance concluded, I had no excuse to skip classes and was stuck in the classroom. I struggled to keep up with lessons. When teachers entered the classroom to teach various subjects, I found it difficult to comprehend the material, especially in subjects like mathematics and physics, where numerical concepts eluded me due to my lack of attendance.
Feeling lost and disconnected from my studies, I grew to despise academics even more. One mundane day, amidst the monotony, a friend approached me during a break with news that the physical education teacher was looking for me. Curious, I made my way to the teacher’s room where the PE teacher seemed to be waiting with anticipation.
As I entered, the PE teacher beckoned me closer, shuffling through some papers on his desk. He inquired about my plans after graduation, catching me off guard. Graduation was looming, but I was in a state of abandonment because of my poor academic performance. Unable to articulate a response, I stood there silently.
Observing my hesitation, the PE teacher broke into a smile and suggested, “Why not consider attending a PE school? I just received a call from a PE college expressing interest in recruiting you.” His unexpected proposition left me stunned.
“What?” I blurted out, my heart racing at the unexpected turn of events. The PE teacher advised me to discuss the opportunity with my parents and inform him of my decision the following day.
Overwhelmed with joy by the unexpected opportunity, I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face as I returned to the classroom. Excitedly, I shared the news with my closest friends, Sun-sook and Kisook, who shared in my happiness. Their excitement mirrored mine, and everyone seemed thrilled at the prospect of me being recruited by a PE college before graduation.
In the realm of physical education, talent and skill in sports often outweigh academic achievements. It appeared that the track and field coach at the PE college had taken notice of my consistent participation and victories in school games as a track and field athlete.
For the downtown art and physical education schools, it was not uncommon to offer unconditional admissions to students with exceptional talent. Kim Bok-hee, a tall and pretty girl in the 3rd year had been admitted by the art school. Pil Gyong-suk in my class had also joined the art school. My potential admission to the PE school would make two students from our class entering college before graduation.
On that evening, I prepared dinner for my parents, a routine I often undertook when my mother was occupied or running late. My family structure had shifted significantly over the years, with my older siblings embarking on their own paths, leaving only my parents, my two younger siblings, and me at home. Two older sisters, who was discharged from the military and returned from the grand construction respectively, married on the same day and the third sister lives at the chicken factory dormitory. My brother also joined the army by then.
Seizing the opportunity during dinner, I shared with my mother the exciting news about the potential opportunity to attend a physical education school. Knowing all the extra-curicular activities I had been engrossed with, she released a sigh, “You should have diligently studied and entered a college like light industry college. What is up with a PE college? Your father will say no.”
She suggested that the matter be discussed when my father returned from work. My father, who usually returned home past 11 p.m., by which time my younger siblings and I were already drifting off to sleep.
The next morning during breakfast, my father made his stance clear, vetoing the idea of me attending a physical education school. It seemed my mother had already briefed him on the matter the previous night while I was asleep.
With my head bowed, I silently continued scooping rice, avoiding direct eye contact with my father. His words were firm and decisive, expressing his disapproval of my aspirations to pursue a career in physical education. He cited concerns about my already tomboyish nature and speculated that I would not even be able to find a marriage spouse if I pursued such a path. He stood up informing my mother of the arrival of fuelwood later in the evening and telling her to come home early and put them in the storehouse.
I left home for school, telling my mother that I would go to the PE college no matter what. I felt dejected and disheartened. Thankfully, the physical education teacher was absent that day, sparing me from an encounter with him. Upon returning home, I remained silent and withdrawn laying in the corner of the room.
The tranquility of the moment was abruptly shattered by the sound of a car pulling up outside, followed by my younger brother’s excited announcement that a wooden car had arrived.
As the workers unloaded the firewood and the truck departed, my siblings and I started stacking the wood in our storage area. In our locality, the lumber mill processes logs into boards, and any leftover trees are provided as firewood. Only those in managerial positions are entitled to receive firewood after presenting a slip obtained from the paper mill supplies team.
Unlike other households, we had the privilege of receiving firewood, eliminating the need to rely on coal. While burning coal produced dust and ash, using firewood ensured cleaner and more comfortable cooking conditions, free from such inconveniences.
My family usually used coal because my father sent our portion of firewood to a grandmother who lived alone. So, my siblings and I were very excited to see the firewood stacked like a mountain and began moving it into the storehouse. Coal was especially distasteful to my siblings and I since we were once poisoned from coal gas. Those in the neighborhood saw us, kids, stacking firewood by themselves and lent their hands. Seeing their kind gesture upon returning home, my mother appreciated them and treated them to dinner.
I pestered her to ask my father once more about my PE college admission. She agreed to speak with him again although she did not expect a different response. I pleaded with my parents for several days, all in vain, and eventually abandoned the idea of seeking early admission to a physical education school.
When my mother visited the physical education teacher to explain the situation, she expressed her regret, acknowledging that she couldn’t sway my father’s decision. The teacher lamented the missed opportunity of producing a track and field athlete from our school.
Feeling disheartened, I went through a few somber days, without eating. I couldn’t shake off the resentment towards my father for stopping me from pursuing sports and attending a physical education school.
In my household, it was a fundamental principle to heed my father’s guidance. If he said something was right, we obeyed. If he said no, we should not go against it. He always acted with integrity and was deeply trusted by many people as the manager of a factory. At home, he was the head of our family. He instructed us to never deviate from principles and common sense.
I informed my parents that I would forego pursuing higher education and instead enter the workforce as I was no longer interested in academics and my academic performance couldn’t keep up. This decision was made in defiance of my parents’ objections to pursuing physical education.
Upon graduation, Sunsuk enrolled in a light industry college, while two classmates went on to university. Kim Ok-soon pursued a degree in elementary education, and Lee Kyung-hee opted for middle school education.
Out of the 46 students in our class, only about ten pursued higher education, with the majority entering the workforce directly. In this season, each school submitted the list of graduates to the city labor department, which then assigned graduates to various factories in the city.
If one were to secure placement in a desired factory, they needed to obtain a letter of employment termination from the previously assigned factory’s labor department. With this termination letter and the admission confirmation from the new factory, individuals could return to the city labor department to receive a new work assignment.
Many individuals in North Korea find themselves resigning to their assigned workplaces due to the challenging procedures for mobility between jobs. North Korea is probably where changing jobs is the most difficult in the world. In sectors like coal mines and agricultural areas, job opportunities are often inherited across generations, further complicating the ability to relocate.
Upon graduation, myself included, my classmates and I were collectively assigned to a forestry machinery factory (림업기계공장) in our district. The city’s labor department informed parents’ registered workplaces of their children’s workplace assignments.
Despite graduates’ preferences for specific roles or locations, the factory labor department typically mandates their continued employment at the assigned factory for years. Refusal to comply with these assignments leads to being labeled as unemployed and sent to labor training camps.
Despite knowing the challenge, I told my parents that I would prefer working at my father’s factory. However, he advised me against navigating the complex process, suggesting I accept placement at the assigned factory instead. It seemed never possible for our siblings to benefit from my father’s status. If at all, it was my third sister alone.
I could have gone to a light industry college despite my poor academic score if only my father spoke a simple word to his close friends. My mother alluded to the possibility of my attending a higher school, but he emained steadfast. I understood his conviction that no children should go to a higher school thanks to their parents’ influence, yet I couldn’t help but feel resentful as he not only blocked my path to a physical education school but also did not aid me to go to a different school.
In my father’s eyes, I was the tomboy with a strong personality capable of thriving anywhere without his concern whereas my third sister was gentle and fragile.
My father simply silenced any further discussions on the matter saying that I lacked the skills necessary for higher education.
In July 1982, I graduated from our school, filled with memories of establishing myself as a track and field athlete. With my childhood friends from our village, who had been by my side since the People’s School days, we left our school gate for good.
Among the neighborhood friends, only Kang Sun-sook pursued a path to a light industry college. The rest of us were assigned to work at the machinery factory alongside me.
Among the graduates, there were several friends who, like me, attended a night college at the factory. At this night college, we studied for four hours after our regular work shifts, dedicating ourselves to further education.
Studying at night college allowed me to make up for lost time and regrets from my middle school days when I didn’t apply myself to my studies.